I am full of thinking today. Big thoughts, little thoughts, middling thoughts... Full of them. Most of them are good, worth giving time to, worth sitting with for a while.
Have you ever had to face your limitations? You know, accept that you aren't good at something which may have lasting consequences on your life? A friend of mine put it this way, it's as though you're an early settler trying to survive in the wilderness and you suddenly realize you're a bad shot with a rifle and winter is coming on. Oh, shit! What am I going to do for food? Talk about consequences.
But that's just a middling thought now - a middling feeling. Not nearly as all consuming as it was earlier this week. Mostly because I have experienced reality today which reduced the power fear had on me... somewhat. And because I am feeling loved. I believe there is nothing better than to know and feel that one is Loved. It is good to be loved by imperfect human love, by imperfect loving people. OF COURSE it goes without saying, being Loved by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is even better. But how can we understand His love for us without experiencing the imperfect love of other sinners? I don't know--I'm sure some intellectual somewhere would say I have it backwards. Pfffft! Who cares?? I am grateful God allows me to experience the love of others so I can better understand how it feels when He loves me. The point is He. Loves. Me. He cares that I was freaking out this week. He cares about whether I can trust Him to define my value. He cares enough to be involved in my sanctification, not just my salvation.
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