Stormy Night

Tonight my foot, ankle and knee are hurting and I think it's because of the storm that we've had today. There was a wonderful lightening show, too. I was too busy cleaning up my kitchen to enjoy it though. I don't like how the mundane gets in the way of enjoying life. As I get older, responsibility and the daily grind seem to get in the way of what I want to do. Or what I would have done when I was younger. I wonder if when I get older if I'll choose to ignore the mundane and enjoy myself again?

Today my friend from work got me and wanted to eat lunch together, so I went and warmed up my food and ate with her. She told me lots of things, but one thing she said was that her court date to make her divorce final was next week. But she was frustrated because her husband wouldn't agree to a divorce of irreconcilable differences, but was insisting that the divorce grounds be because of her adultery. She was insistent that his adultery negated hers and that she wasn't going to give in to him, even if that meant that they would remain married. Late in the day she stopped back by my office and sat down. I ended up telling her that I thought she should just agree to the divorce on the grounds of her adultery. That from a god perspective, it was true and it didn't matter if he saw other women after she threw him out of the house and started the divorce. I didn't see how it mattered if the goal was to be free from an abusive marriage (apart from her adultery) what the grounds were. Especially since the grounds were true.

Sigh. And more--she was worried that if she did admit to adultery that the ex-wife of her ex boyfriend would sue her for alienation of affection...because she and he had started their affair while he was still married--in the process of getting a divorce, but still married.

The ugliness of her past continues to surprise me. I know that people are capable of deep sinfulness. I know that I am capable of it---but to come face to face with it in someone I genuinely like and care about is hard. I am also convinced that her repentance is real and that she is seeking God now. But, oh! The depths we can sink to when we don't actively look to God and keep Him a priority in our life. I am afraid I am looking into a mirror when I see her life. Until recently she was even fooling herself about the character of God and what He found acceptable and unacceptable. If I don't pay attention to my spiritual life, I could end up in the same place as her. How guilty I am of diminishing God in my life already and I have excuses ready for it. But I don't think any excuse is good enough for choosing to diminish what I have been given by God, choosing to live my life based on my own wishes, choosing to ignore God....

... and tomorrow I will probably do it again.